'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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