This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize