You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize