just tell him i said nine months
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize