Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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