I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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