I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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