we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Acid is not a monday night drug
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize