So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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