My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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