His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize