I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize