Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize