Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize