Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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