I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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