i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize