if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize