butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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