Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize