Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize