I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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