I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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