I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
YAS. BRING CRAB.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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