I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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