Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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