This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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