the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
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