i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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