I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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