my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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