My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
where does the pee come out of this thing
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize