there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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