I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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