Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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