Acid is not a monday night drug
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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