Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize