Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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