I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize