I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I will pee on everything he values.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
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It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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