I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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