remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize