I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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