Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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