i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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