I want to have your abortion
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize