I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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