he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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