Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
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Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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