What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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